Reflections Part 2: The Dream of Life

I’ve noticed an inversion in my daily life lately. The world has taken on a semi-dreamlike quality, as though I’m playing out a story written in a book. That’s not to say that the things around me feel in any way less real, or that I’ve disassociated from the physical world. Just that there is something extra, which was always there, that has now come to the forefront of my perception.

In a well written book by a skilled author there are no words spent on frivolous scenes. No extemporaneous dialogue or wasted moments. Everything is placed with purpose and care, with strict intent to tell a story in a specific way. The normal appearances of my world have taken on a similar quality.

The meaning of things feels more real than the things themselves. The distinction between object and observer dissolves away, and what’s left is an awareness of a concept. A chair is not an unconditional thing unto itself. You need certain materials constructed in a specific way, and you need people to name that ontological configuration of things as a “chair” and define its purpose. There is a fuzzy delineation between what may or may not constitute a chair, as people will define it differently. Look up any internet argument about what is or is not a sandwich and you’ll see many different views on the subject.

I see a chair, I see it as a separate object from my physical body, and I know what its purpose is. But that connection between me and the chair, that knowledge of the meaning of it, seems more “real” than the chair itself. “Chair” as a concept is something inside me, and it is also physically present in the world in the instance of a chair I am observing, and those two things are the same thing. I’m not going around looking at every little inconsequential event as being important, some message from on high, but the idea that my self understanding is reflected in the world around me, and that the world around me is reflected in my self understanding, is a prominent feature as I go about my days.

Things that were once fantasy, such as talking to ghosts with a radio, performing magick, having visions, and pursuit of enlightenment are now regular activities. Synchronicity has become the norm, rather than the special case. Oftentimes things seem to manifest around me in an ideal fashion without me even taking action towards them. Not everything has been what I would call “good” or “fun”, and hard times still arise, but none of it seems random. I said not everything is a message, which is true, but its more like a wink from divinity. A head nod as you pass on the street. “I see you, and I recognize that you also see me”.

The magick of reality is present and constant for those that care to seek it out.

I’ve been ill this past week, and in a haze of antihistamines and cough syrup I experienced two visionary events.

The first was while I was watching television. As the people spoke on the screen I could see something extra within their eyes. It was as if the divine self that I find present internally, and whose reflection I see externally, was also present within them looking back at me. The radiance of it was shining out through them like they were heated pieces of metal. And not only was I recognizing this quality within them, I was also seeing that this presence was recognizing itself in me. This condition has persisted, and though it is not always on the surface I seem to be able to will myself to see it in others, but to a lesser degree than the initial experience.

The second, I was laying casually on a bed listening to the rain which had just started. My vision faded away from the walls of the room until I was looking out at a field of stars. I recognized the constellation Aquarius in the sky. A black void, shaped like a cup \_/, eclipsed it. The void had a magnetic, or gravitational, pull. Though I felt the draw of it, I was not compelled to move towards it, and did not expend effort to stay stationary. Inside, I saw what was described as the “back” of the Tree of Life. It had all the lines connecting the Sephirot present, but the only spheres on the tree were Da’at and Malkuth.

You can find all sorts of interpretations within these visions. You could look at them and wonder about prophecy and the end of an aeon. You could see them as reflections of my internal state, and as personal experiences for me to move through. You could consider them to be both external and internal messages, one in the other, fractally to infinity.

But whatever they are, there’s nothing to do about them. See them, observe without judgement. Then continue onward. There is still a long road ahead.

Update: May 16th, 3:53 PM.

I posted this blog, opened up twitter, and this was the first tweet I saw:

Update: May 16th, 9:53 PM

Sitting outside in the warm stillness of the night, I look upward at the stars. I recognize the constellation Leo, almost directly above me. As they are in opposite positions, I know this means Aquarius is almost directly below my seat. Leo faces down toward the west, where the sun set a few hours earlier. For a few moments, the planes crossing my view disperse and I watch a satellite silently glide from the south, moving north. As it flies straight across Leo, right as it gets to the middle of the lion’s head, it flashes brilliantly for one single moment and then continues on its way, eventually disappearing below the trees.

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