The methodology and intention of this working, as well as part of the journey, shall remain private as instructed.
Sunday, February 4th 2024.
I lay down and close my eyes.
In the night outside, thunder rumbles. I can momentarily see flashes of lightning as the rain pings off the roof.
The vision arrives.
A door, as to a dressing room behind a stage.
I open it and enter. A staircase of black vinyl steps leads to a small landing, turns right, and continues to descend.
Another door.
Stepping through, I am in a tunnel which runs beneath a mountain. Train tracks divide it’s center.
To the left: Brilliant white light. An exit. A way to turn back.
To the right: a descent into darkness.
Turning right and beginning to follow the tracks, I fear a train coming and crushing me. There is little space to the side of the tracks where I could find safety.
I arrive at the blackness the tracks are leading into.
It is an almost Looney Tunes-like barrier. As if the blackness and the tracks fading into it beyond were painted on a wall. Moving left and right, I can see that this is not the case from the shift in perspective.
I back up and run forward into the barrier of darkness.
It is like pushing through a thick sheet of rubber.
Popping out on the other side, I float upward. As if the blackness itself were a liquid in which I am incredibly buoyant.
I try to swim downward at an angle to make forward progress along the tracks, but I am pushed up with such force that this is impossible.
Allowing myself to be lifted instead, I see there are wooden platforms floating on the surface of the liquid-darkness. From their center falls a long heavy chain, anchoring them in place.
Climbing atop one of the platforms, I find there is little space between the ceiling of the tunnel and the liquid I just exited. I cannot stand or jump from platform to platform. Instead I have to swim.
Following these, the ceiling of the tunnel gets lower and lower until it touches the liquid. I leave the platform on which I just arrived and use the wall to push myself downward beneath the surface.
In the center of this far wall is a circular tunnel leading to a circular door. I swim into it.
Feeling as if there is no way I can hold my breath long enough to traverse this passage, I press on nonetheless. I reach the door and begin pushing.
No movement.
I shove harder and harder.
Still nothing.
I try pulling instead.
The door rocks back toward me a few centimeters, but the “water” pressure pushes it shut again.
I brace my feet against the wall and pull harder.
The door opens completely, and the liquid now rushing through pulls me along with it.
I am deposited on a grated catwalk, the liquid flowing through it into a channel below.
Again, I am in a domed tunnel, like a sewer or flooded subway.
I walk along the catwalk, following the flow, and the sound of extra footsteps alerts me to two large rats approaching from behind me. They are the size of dogs.
They sniff at me for a brief moment, then attack. One scratches at an arm, while the other bites at my foot.
I run, the rats giving chase.
I come to the railing at the end of the catwalk. To the right is a door, which I enter.
A staircase leading up.
I am in a break room. Fluorescent lights hum above me. There is a soda vending machine, two small rectangular tables, and a T.V. in the far upper corner. On it is an image of me standing at the top of this staircase at the entrance to the room.
Around a corner from the stairs is a thin hallway. The only way to progress.
I have to walk sideways for a few moments through it, passing shelves and filing cabinets, until it widens slightly and I can walk forward.
At this point, it seems to stretch on forever. The humming lights continuing down its ceiling, illuminating it to infinity.
I jog forward, and the end of it zooms to meet me.
Another door.
Opening this one, I see I am in a cave with a river flowing through it.
I am above it, maybe 3 stories high, with metal stairs resembling a city fire escape leading to the ground level.
As I begin my downward travel, the bottom of the stairs stretches away, as if I were now thousands of feet in the air.
Round and round I continue to descend until I step onto the stone of the cave floor.
Moored at the bank of the river is a small wooden boat, on which stands a hooded figure.
Assuming this requires some form of payment, I check my pockets but find I have no coins or anything else on me. The figure makes no indication as to whether this is right or wrong.
I say “Well, if I’m supposed to pay for a ride, I will bury two coins when I return.”
The figure remains silent.
I step into the boat.
Using a long black pole, the figure pushes the boat away from the riverbank.
The river itself has a sort of white film over the top of it.
As the boat sails forward ghostly hands reach up from the water, grasping for it but finding no purchase.
The water picks up speed and I see a waterfall is ahead. Looking back, the hooded figure is gone from his place in the boat.
The boat, and I, are launched off the edge of the waterfall.
It sails through the air and smashes upon a large rock in the center of the river below. A huge hole is cracked into the wood of the hull, black stone penetrating upward.
I try to assess if the boat can continue like this. I shake it free from the rock, but it immediately begins to sink. I rush to the back and jump onto the rock.
I am standing on the rock. The river around me churns with a grim intensity.
I look for anywhere to go. I cannot possibly make it to the bank of the river, and even if I did there is nowhere on it to go here in the cave.
A fear begins to overwhelm me.
If I leave this rock I will die.
Completely.
Without a doubt.
I can not in any way survive in the rapids of this water.
I stay on the rock for an uncomfortably long time.
Near the base of the waterfall the water is more calm. I could try to swim back there and search for another way out.
I stay on the rock even longer.
I can feel my physical heart beating quickly in my chest, and realize I have tensed up my neck and eyes.
I look back down river, toward the rapids, and jump into the water.
I am tossed about by the rapids.
I keep trying to surface, to grab a breath, but am pulled under over and over again.
The tunnel winds through complete blackness.
I am thrown against its walls and submerged rocks.
The waters calm.
I am floating headfirst on my back, the water just barely below my nose and eyes.
I have a dim sense of other bodies floating around me in this darkness.
The tunnel opens up.
I float into a scene of a sky filled with stars.
To either side of the now-thin river is a moonlit grassy field with trees reflecting silver light.
I am tiny, the size of an insect, standing on the belly of my own body which is floating down the river.
I take a running leap and jump off of myself, landing in the grass.
As I touch down, I grow to normal human size.
Turning back I watch my body, somewhat bloated, sink beneath the waters as the river carries it away.
I take a few steps in the moonlight and bump into a wall.
The sky and scene of the trees are paint on the side of this cavern.
Within this wall is a door, which I open.
There is a sort of slide spiraling down into the darkness.
I sit on the edge, scoot myself forward, and slide down.
I spin and spin in the descent.
The slide passes through some sort of opening below, and the world around me is now bright.
I am launched off the end of the slide, unceremoniously landing face first on grey rocky ground.
Dusting myself off as I stand up, I see I am in a fog.
There is a path here, a sort of dirt road cleared of rocks, upon which waits a carriage. Two horses, the left black, the right pale white, and no driver.
I enter. As I sit the horses begin trotting forward.
Looking at the window as we move along, I get the impression that there are unnamed-things moving within the fog, but I cannot see them.
It begins to rain and hail outside the carriage. [I would learn later that it is also hailing outside at this moment.]
I think I catch glimpses of dead trees as we pass, but I cannot be sure.
The carriage approaches a rock wall with a huge archway.
Instead of doors, there is a thin curtain of silver light falling slowly like a cold mist.
We pass through.
The carriage drives through an ancient forest, passing an abandoned whimsical fairy-tale cottage.
The trees here are of titanic size, bigger than skyscrapers. They are dead and petrified, with the green stains of long-dead moss around their bases.
The path winds through them, over roots the size of hills.
Rounding one of these trees, we approach a cliffside and begin descending a narrow path along it’s face. The horses seem to have no trouble on the thin walkway.
As we reach the bottom they pull to a stop and I exit the carriage.
I stand on a beach of ashes.
It is the shoreline of a lake of acid.
There is a glass boat waiting for me. Thin trails of vapor rise of from the lake.
I board the boat.
Propelled by some unseen force, the boat glides forward across the surface of the lake.
Coming into view is [REDACTED].
A female voice in my head. One of the most clear and not-my-own-thoughts experiences I have ever had. An instruction, a request, or a warning: Not to make an image of what I am currently seeing.
[I have chosen, in this case, to not describe it as well.]
I realize I have absolutely no idea what to say in this moment.
Not a single clue.
I wrestle with my own thoughts before refocusing.
I say “I have come to be here with you”.
A figure, looking very much like [REDACTED] moves forward from Her feet, takes grasp of the front of the boat, draws it to Her side, and disappears.
I reach out from the side of the boat, trying to place a comforting hand against Her.
We remain like this for a moment, and then She reaches down and lifts the boat with me in it, placing it upon her knees.
I look upward, not at Her, but at the cavern around us.
Her hair stretches in long strands all across the ceiling, as if the entire place were a crown She was wearing.
Silence.
There is nothing to say about this part.
I have lost track of how long I have been there.
Again, Her voice in my head. It is time to go.
I do not want to leave, but I don’t seem to have a choice in the matter.
The vision, boat still in Her lap, retreats from me. It is as if I am moving backwards down a long tunnel of swirling clouds or smoke, watching it shrink into the distance.
My eyes open involuntarily.
The vision ends.
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