January 28th, 2023.
I lay on the bed next to my wife as she is reading a book, relaxing and listening to music.
Spontaneously, a thought enters my mind: “I Am”. I was not contemplating spirituality or occult topics, so this took me by surprise.
I Am.
Accompanying this thought was inherent realization; the idea that absolutely everything is a natural progression of this one simple thought. The Self-knowing, Self-identifying, Self-naming nature of Divinity has the intrinsic quality that the entirety of Eternity and Creation proceeds from it.
The Cry of Creation is not “Let There Be”, but “I Am”.
Here, I experienced a vision of a vortex through time.
Visually, I saw something similar to when two mirrors are placed facing each other. I saw the world in front of me, then again slightly smaller and closer together, and again smaller and closer together, all the way to infinity.
At the center was a bright light, the opposite of what happens in mirrors. Each reflection was additive to the whole.
If I stretched my hand out in front of me and moved it around, I’d see it happen in each of the progressive smaller versions of reflected reality with a small delay.
And then the stars appeared.
Like millions of other points of light within the reflections, each one reflecting all the others, and each reflected in every slice of reality that I could see.
As each point in the vision reflected each other point, gradually the entire thing collapsed into itself.
There was only light remaining.
If all points of infinite space and time (and eternity) are containing and reflecting back all other points, then it logically follows that all points contain infinite light.
And I watched as each of those infinite points, each of those infinite perspectives, condensed into one singular point of light.
And the light was both me and within me.
Still just laying on the bed, I felt as though I were glowing.
Actually, physically glowing. Emitting light.
My eyes did not agree with this feeling, as I looked at my hand and at my chest beneath my shirt.
But the experience was present. As if infinite light was literally directly within my chest, my arms, my hands, my face. Every part of me. And that light could not be contained, it was bursting out through my skin in every possible direction.
Like a star undergoing a continuous supernova.
It was a giddy and blissful feeling.
The light itself had associated qualities as well.
Within it was a perfect stillness and silence, a perfect peacefulness.
It contained all things, and all not-things. All moments, places, events, concepts, thoughts, and feelings in Eternity and Time.
It was simultaneously everything and nothing, everywhere and nowhere.
It was infinite.
It was perfect.
With it came the experience of participating in it.
Just by being aware of it, of it being possible to observe it.
Being it, containing it, and reflecting it.
A joyful sharing of it and in it.
And with this, something seemed to end. Something that I was looking for was found. Some pull toward something was completed. Some cycle was finished.
This is not the end of a journey, but the beginning of a new one. A changed one.
I Am.
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