This is a continuation of the events from my last post.
The friend who was present for the events at that time, Nikki, has decided to share their experience in writing. Below is the event from their perspective and in their own words.
Nikki’s Account
I was sitting on Jason's back porch, sharing a night of music, discussion, and company, when something changed. Music was playing, just as it had been. Walk Off the Earth's Beatles Medley, which I hadn't heard before, sang cheerfully through the phone's speakers. But without warning, the overwhelming feeling of magic slammed into me. It felt like a sudden rush of adrenaline that sent a shiver up my body, but somehow just a gentle and pleasant nudge at the same time. That's when I noticed that Jason had gone quiet and still some time ago, his head bowed in front of me. Just after I felt the literal magic in the air, he told me that something was happening and that he felt sure that he could share it if I wanted him to. I did.
After a brief confirmation, I settled directly in front of him. He stared into my eyes for a moment and then embraced me in a hug. I felt it immediately. My mind went blank, overcome by a true sense of calm. This in and of itself was incredibly surprising; my mind has not quieted like that...ever. During my own Magia practices, I have found temporary peace, but nothing like what I was feeling in that moment. Every worry I've had over the past few weeks, of which there are many, disappeared in an instant. The ever-constant feed of anxious thoughts in my mind... silent.
I let go completely, putting my faith in something unnamable.
Suddenly, the world shrank. Or rather, I grew. Expanded. Became borderless. Larger than myself. In an instant, a teaching of Magia that had been a concept understood in theory became incredibly real. For the first time, I felt a deep sense of belonging in the universe, and like I was equal to those around me. A feeling of fear slipped in, allowed through in a moment of shock as I struggled to process the rush that was surging through me. I felt scared. I could feel my body shaking, though I no longer felt attached to it. Then, just as quickly as the fear had come, it was gone. Replaced by an even stronger sense of calm than before. Complete trust that this was right. Aion, Jason, Me. It was and is all the same.
I felt Jason let go of me. Unable to speak and still not feeling attached to my own body, I let out a shaky laugh and rested my head on him for a moment. I felt physically overwhelmed. I was shaking and sweating, and breathing heavily. I even felt as if I might get sick. But I also felt wonderful. On top of the world, quite literally. The physical reactions of my body were the result of the pure bliss happening behind the scenes. Jason made sure I was alright before allowing me to lean back in my chair and recover for a moment. He put on another song: Chasing Rainbows by the High Kings. After a few notes, my head seemed to fit inside my head again, and I was no longer in danger of getting sick. Jason stood and walked around the curtained-in patio area and laughed out loud, because of course, it was exactly sunset.
A feeling of genuine peace and joy persisted throughout the entire night. The expanded feeling remained. I felt like a walking contradiction: calm and overwhelmed, connected and disconnected to the world in equal measure. I laughed wholeheartedly at anxieties I'd held my entire life. I felt happiness deeper than I'd ever felt before. I was unable to speak at certain points in the night simply because there was nothing to say. Magic and synchronicities were abound, and we were simply enjoying the ride.
The following day, I did a cosmological binding to confirm what I already suspected was the case: This was my first awakening. In the days since, everything is altogether different and exactly the same. I am still me, life goes on, and responsibilities persist. My basic personality hasn't shifted; my interests remain the same. Nothing's truly different about who I am. But the changes have been profound. The baseline level of anxiety that I have always lived with completely vanished for a few days after the experience, and what has returned has been dramatically lowered. My appetite, previously non-existent without medication, has been wonderfully present. My physical urge/need to smoke has disappeared. I have not been audibly overstimulated (as an autistic person) once since that night. All of these things are extraordinary for me. I cannot stress enough that I have not gone a single day in many years without these things affecting my life. Until now.
I have done my best to describe the experience here as accurately as possible, but honestly, no words will do it justice. Even reading this back now, it doesn't feel adequate. That night, I remember feeling frustrated when Jason asked me if I could describe what had happened to me, because no words seemed to fit, and that feeling remains. Words may not come easily, but I know one thing for sure: this was only the beginning.
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